There are fans who spend considerable amounts of money to turn their basements into shrines to sports teams, Star Trek, and speakeasies.
There are fair-weather fans who only like something if it’s popular or successful. There are anti-fans who, at one time in their life, loved something but now follow it solely to criticize and claim it’s worse than when they initially loved it.
There are fans who head to a bar and drink when their team wins and those who drink when their team loses.
Lately, I’m finding it incredibly difficult to be just a simple fan.
Being a fan takes time and energy. For example, I’m a fan of a particular author, but I’m three books behind, and I fear I won’t ever catch up. I don’t have either the time or energy to devote to being a fan of this author, but I still want to read his books. It’s the same for TV shows, movies, and even music.
I have started to listen to the new Twenty One Pilots album, but I still haven’t finished it. I have a queue of podcasts that I really want to dive into, but my time to listen to an hour-long podcast is severely limited. It all comes back to time and energy.
Do I simply let go of my fandom? Do I keep collecting entertainment for that distant future when I can sit and enjoy it? Can you bank time and energy? I don’t think so.
I’m a fan of Star Wars, but I wanted so much more from the sequels, and I’m worried about the future of the movies. Should I focus on the aspects of Star Wars I enjoy and ignore the rest? Given the vastness of the Star Wars universe, it’s impossible for me to enjoy or like everything. So, I’ve concentrated on squeezing all the fun I can out of the Disney+ shows. The novels, comics, cartoons… I can let those go.
I’m a fan of KISS, but the band is significantly different now than when I acquired my first KISS album. Do I only listen to what I like and ignore the rest? I could do that, but I feel it would limit my enjoyment of the band and dismiss the achievements of the current line-up. I still want new KISS music, but I doubt I’ll ever hear any.
I’m a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals, but they haven’t won a pennant or been to the World Series in years. Do I simply relive the glory days and not care how the team fixes or positions itself for the future? For me, the only way I can maintain my Cardinals fandom is by not caring about the Cardinals until the playoffs. Because I know following such a long 162-game season would be bad for my heart, as I live and die with every pitch, play in the field, and swing of the bat. If they don’t make the playoffs, do I even care at all?
That’s the thing, though, isn’t it? As a fan, you invest your time and energy in something, hoping to be entertained and experience the adventure and excitement. However, it doesn’t always turn out for the best. Sometimes the lows keep me from enjoying the highs. There is no balance.
I guess the real question is, can you find balance in being a fan? I get accused all the time of being an all-or-nothing kind of guy. This feels like a true extension of that mentality.
Maybe being a fan is a kind of mental exercise. Personally, I must disassociate myself from the entertainment. I can’t get too invested because if something bad happens, I will become depressed for days, and if something good happens, it’s never enough.
Reflecting on that investment strategy in relation to my fandom, I realize that finding balance in my personal life should also be a goal. Not just with being a fan, but with everything. Work, family, being a good husband, parenting, eating, sleeping… keeping all these things, and so much more, in balance.
So, being a fan is finding the right balance in my life. However, finding the right balance is really the key to everything.
All these ideas lead me to a new direction for the rest of the year — find balance. That’s a good goal and one that sounds completely within reach, but it is much harder than it looks. One of my personal weaknesses is a tendency to both under- and overthink. Again, finding the right balance in how I approach things would make for a better life. That means bringing balance to how I manage my time and energy.
I’m also making a conscious effort not to let my fandoms interfere with my life.
But that takes time and energy. And balance.
Be seeing you.
